As Is

Decorating with Fabric

2009-07-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

For Liza, because she asked:

This is our first step towards decorating. It's standing alone right now until we find other fabrics to go with it:

A Close-up:

Here's our bigger project:

It needs to grow a bit, as you can see:

We're excited to continue with it, but here's a start!

Rainy Afternoon

2009-05-13T17:12:00.001-07:00

Nathan had the car on this rainy afternoon, so Elsa and I did what we always do:

We baked (blueberry-lime muffins), and then of course we ate a few:

We painted a scarf:

Which led to a bath with several toys:

Which led to Elsa doing some naked ballet dancing with balloons:

Gotta go. Someone's picking the blueberries out of the muffins again. I know this because as she's doing so she's saying "what Elsa doing?".

Ballet Dancing

2009-05-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

Elsa has been really into dancing lately. Really into it. Exhibit A:

WHAT?!?

2009-04-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

When did she get so big?

Lamby Jammy Dance

2009-03-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when I tell Elsa it's time to put on her Lamby Jammies:

katie's unpublished diary entry 1

2008-11-08T16:02:00.000-08:00

man, sometimes i just can not believe how crazy-awesome my sister anya is. she gets to eat apples with peanut butter for breakfast like every day, how great is that? AND she comes up with genius ideas like how elsa should be our family dog raizan for halloween. think about it; raizan eats everything in sight and sleeps on top of my head a lot even if i push her off! genuis! just genius that anya is. plus the fact that amia, our niece, selected her out of all of amia's aunts and uncles to be the one in the following drawing with grandpa and grandma is just a testament.

Drawing to come.

KATIE, ELSA, AND NATHAN ARE OFF TO HAFIA!!

2008-11-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

and anya will now take over katie's blog. it's like house-sitting, but with a blog.

Elsa is Enjoying Fall

2008-10-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

Elsa Talks

2008-09-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

Elsa is learning new words every day! Here are a few of the things she says:

Up
Down
Eat
Mama
Papa
Hot
Head
Hat
Bear
Baby
Happy
Happy Baby
Book
Apple
No
Out
Kitty
Dog
Ball
Juice
Hop
More (sign)
All Done (sign)
Bye Bye
Bee
Duck
Boo
That
Day
Stop
Go
Oooh (meaning, where?)
Animal Noises: Moo, Meow, Hoo, Woof, Baa, Buck Buck, Hsss, Bzzzz

That's all I can remember right now. She's recently started accurately pointing out objects in books and repeats words when we say them. I'm always surprised by the words she can repeat right away, and even when she doesn't quite get the right sounds out it's still a lot of fun to see her try and practice new words. We go to out co-op preschool together two hours a week and Elsa's teacher is very expressive and enunciates clearly and Elsa is just mesmerized watching her mouth as she speaks and sings. She just sits (or stands) there, staring at her the entire circle time. I feel like we are both getting a lot more out of reading books together now, and it's great fun!

A Little Bit of Sunshine on a Gloomy Kind of Day

2008-09-17T13:57:00.001-07:00

A Few More Pictures of Some Recent Adventures

2008-09-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

This one's a bit blurry, but here's Elsa drawing with sidewalk chalk on our trip to visit my brother, Dan, and California:

Shortly after our trip to California, the Falconers came to visit!

Elsa and Liam got along so well that by the second day they were sleeping, waking, and pooping at exactly the same times all day.

On Labor Day we took an early evening stroll at a local beach. I hope to take many trips there next summer with Elsa. Here she is, enjoying the sand. She's taken to lying down in everything.

A few weeks ago I bought this collection of beans, peas, lentils and barley for Elsa to play with. She absolutely loved it, but immediately started throwing handfuls of it all around her. We put them away and spent the next few weeks cleaning it up and trying to think of a cleaner way for her to play with them, because she just enjoyed it so much. Today, I braved the beans again. But this time we 1) played in the hallway so they wouldn't spread out so much when thrown, and 2) laid out a large sheet so the clean up was a lot easier, and it also prevented the beans from bouncing across our wooden floors. It was so much fun! So many projects with Elsa just feel daunting because they take so much time to set up, and then she is only mildly interested for about 5 minutes. But this! This was a complete success in every way. She played with those beans for an hour! For a while she was just so content to run her fingers through them, and to pick them up and watch them fall back into the bowl (she didn't even throw any this time!). Then she moved on to filling a smaller bowl with the beans and dumping it all back into the big bowl. When she started to lose interest in that, I collected a few of her small toys (a ball, a block, a plastic bee, and a wooden heart) and I would hide them, one at a time, among the beans and she find them. She even loved setting everything up and taking it down because she got to play in a big sheet! We both had so much fun! I really appreciated being able to spend our morning together in such an enjoyable way!

These pictures don't even begin to cover all of the wonderful adventures we had this summer. I hope to post more pictures soon, but there's also a very real chance that I'll give up trying to catch up and just focus on trying to keep up. She's growing so much, it's incredible. Although it can take a lot of energy to try to keep up with her growing interests, activity level, and, you know, general speed, it is also so much fun. It's gotten a lot easier to be appreciative of the time we have together during the day, and for that I am truly grateful.

Elsa's Eating Exploits

2008-09-15T18:43:00.001-07:00

There are so many pictures and videos to put up, I don't even know where to start catching up. It'll take more time than I have right now, so in the mean time here are the most recent pictures of our little one. Elsa loves her food, as evidenced below:

Eating some yogurt before bed.

She is learning how to feed herself with a spoon!

At which she is sometimes more successful than others.

Here she is, having her first plate of spaghetti.

All done!

Spaghetti Face.

Elsa is a big fan of eating in general, and noodles in particular.

Overdue, Insufficient Update

2008-08-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Elsa, living to the maximum as she does, has us quite busy and tired. So I don't post. By and large I'm ok with ignoring the blog, except that she is at such a fun stage (13 months!) and she's learning so quickly that I want to document everything and share it with our loved ones. We have many pictures that will hopefully get posted relatively soonish, but in the mean time here is a verbal taste of the exciting things she currently enjoys:

She started taking a few steps a little after her first birthday, and started full-on walking when her little cousin, Liam, came to visit. Now she cannot be stopped.
She LOVED having family visit all summer long. Every visit brought exciting new opportunities to learn and explore, and Elsa took full advantage.
We saw her love for babies blossom when Liam came to visit. Elsa spent much of her time teaching Liam how to play with her toys. You can see beautiful pictures of Liza, Brent, and Liam's visit to Seattle here.
She learns new words all the time. The latest is "happy". It's pretty stinking cute to listen to her walk around the house saying "happy happy happy happy happy" all day long. Other favorites are "eat", "hot", and "baby".
She has also started putting two words together, her favorite phrase being "more" (signed) "eat" (said out loud and signed at the same time). The girl can pack it away.
She is becoming so independent in her play. She sits down to read books and play with her toys alone for 15-30 minutes at a time. My impulse is still to sit down and play and read with her, but I'm getting better at reminding myself to sit back, enjoy her ever-growing independence, and wait for her to ask me to play. It's a lot of fun to watch her gain confidence in doing new skills alone!
Somewhere along the line her teddy bears became her "babies". She talks to them in a baby voice, makes "baby faces" at them, hugs and rocks them, and has us do the same while singing to them. She also enjoys having at least one of them with her when we go places. Pretty stinking cute.
She sleeps 8.5 hrs straight!
She loves music. She knows signs for all of her favorite songs, and makes specific requests for "Itsy Bitsy Spider", "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", and "The More We Get Together".
She absolutely loves the outdoors. She will spend hours helping her Papa weed the yard.

And so much more. But for now, bed.

Check it out!

2008-07-01T00:27:00.001-07:00

What did I just say about Elsa developing new skills when the grandparents are around?

Elsa's First Birthday (party)

2008-06-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Elsa turns one (!!!) on Wednesday (!) and we celebrated with some friends and family this past Sunday. Here's a little video documentation:

Elsa Practices Walking

2008-06-23T20:28:00.001-07:00

And another quick video. This one was taken about a month ago when she first got this push toy. Since then Elsa has gotten really good at walking with it and she takes endless laps around the house. I'm hoping to capture an updated version on video soon, it's so cute!

A New Way to Spin

2008-06-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

Whenever she gets around her grandparents, Elsa just takes off with all sorts of new skills and developments. Past trips to Batavia and Wichita have resulted in Elsa learning how to turn pages in board books (4 months old) and how to clap (8 months old), just to name a few among many. But I was totally taken by surprise by how many new things Elsa started to do when my Mom, Dad, and brother Matt came to visit last week. Within 24 hours of their arrival, Elsa played "so big" for the first time then immediately proceeded to direct everyone around the table when it was their turn to throw their arms up and proclaim "so big!", she stood up on her own in the middle of the yard for SUCH A LONG TIME!, she made up a new sign for "music" and was very clear in communicating when she wanted to listen to her cd, and she started spinning around on her bottom. This last one is the only one we managed to catch on video. She normally uses it as a tool to turn around if she wants to face a new direction either to pick up a toy or just look at someone, but in this video she just went crazy with it. You'll see what I mean:

Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, Please Shine Down on Me

2008-06-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago, we got teased with a week of beautiful, sunny, spring weather. Then it was back to rain, rain, rain. It didn't really bother me until I realized it was June and I still hadn't gotten the spring weather that I love so much. Now it's really starting to drain what little energy I have. So, in an attempt to recapture the joy and appreciation we felt that week and to provide us with a little something to look forward to when the sun returns in a few weeks, here's a video of Elsa during that week of sun, discovering, demolishing, and attempting to eat a dandelion.

New Mexico!

2008-06-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

For Memorial Day weekend, Nathan, Elsa and I headed to New Mexico for a family reunion to celebrate Nathan's Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. It was such a wonderful trip! We got to spend time with Nathan's immediate family, who we deeply miss, as well as his extended family, who I really enjoyed getting to know better. We went to a camp called Ghost Ranch about an hour west of Santa Fe and spent our time visiting, hiking, crafting, and playing games. Elsa especially enjoyed her time there and soaked up all of the attention from Grandma and Grandpa Bishop and Tia Talieh and Uncle Reed. Here are just a few of our pictures:

Singing songs around the campfire.

It was, appropriately, in New Mexico that Elsa discovered her LOVE of sand.

Finally got a few pictures of Elsa and Tia Talieh!

Gray, teaching me how to play bocce ball.

The view from our Bocce Ball field. Not bad, eh?

We took Elsa on her first hike up a mesa! We hiked up to Chimney Rock (pictured behind us). She was a trooper, but she did start to get a little bored. Luckily, we found this pink balloon caught in a little tree on the way up, providing Elsa with some entertainment.

And then she fell asleep.

Reed and Nathan, together again.

Elsa loved playing with all of the second cousins.

Hiking with Grandpa Bishop.

Reed, channeling Indiana Jones. We found out later that the opening scenes from the new Indiana Jones movie were actually shot there at Ghost Ranch!

Nathan and Elsa on their first trip to New Mexico. I love this picture.

Fake Post

2008-04-30T22:49:00.000-07:00

We are doing well, enjoying our new home, getting out in the warm(er) weather. Elsa is doing SO MUCH, it's incredible. I've gotta say, 9 months is my favorite so far. I want to share all about it, and I hope to have the energy to post soon, maybe this weekend. In the meantime, we at least put up some new pictures on our Flickr site. Enjoy!

9 Month Picture Update

2008-04-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

Elsa is nine months old now. She's been outside of me for as long as she was inside. I'd like to sit down and compare them but, quite frankly, I'm just too tired (hence the lack of posting in general). Instead, here are a few pictures:

Caught breaking into our important documents.

Hanging out with Papa (sorry, I couldn't resist)

Elsa's First Ayyam-i-Ha!

This is how bathtime goes now, and diaper changes, and clothes changes, etc. Now that she can stand, Lord help you if you try to have her sit or lie down for anything!

Elsa's helping us pack. This is a bit blurry, but I just love the expression on her face! Our house got infested with rats, that then went into the walls to die, after which flies started taking over in swarms. It was disgusting, and we panicked about how unhealthy it was for Elsa, so our landlord agreed to end our lease early and we're moving on Sunday. Elsa's enjoying the boxes.

She had a lot of fun playing in the box while I packed next to her (don't worry grandmas, I wasn't about to let that box tip over)

Signed, sealed delivered.

Elsa, demonstrating her love of the heating vent and proving that she is, in fact, a true Bishop. (Papa and Uncle Reed both prefer heating vents to mattresses)

Playing pat-a-cake after our morning prayers.

Elsa, 9 months

She Speaks!

2008-03-05T17:04:00.000-08:00

Elsa is 8 months (!) old now, and she's started talking up a storm. For the longest time she would only talk with her mouth shut. You could tell that she was making different sounds and shapes and moving her tongue around to test things out, but she kept her lips sealed. After a few months of that, I was really starting to worry about her language development, and then she started whispering. She would go around, whispering "dadadada" while playing with her toys. I was relieved and amused, and now the girl can't be stopped! It's so much fun to hear. A few of the things she says regularly (and often at very appropriate times):

"mama"
"hi da"
"yeah"
"oh boy"

She's also just babbling constantly! Despite Nathan's greatest efforts to be called "Papa", Elsa looks at him and says "hi da" (sometimes more clearly "dad" or "dada"). She's had a cold for the past few days and, consequently, has had trouble sleeping so we have been up until at least 2 am every night this week. But the first night, after several hours of nursing and bouncing, Elsa scoots out of my arms, gets up on all fours, rests on Nathan's chest and says "hi da". So sweet! And just a little exasperating.

A Few More Photos

2008-02-26T23:42:00.001-08:00

Elsa's hair is getting mighty fuzzy these days. She now has enough that she often has bedhead upon waking. I love it!

Elsa has learned how to splash vigorously!

Never a fan of the pacifier, she now views it as a toy and chews on the handle and sides as much as, if not more than, the nipple.

One more time, with attitude.

Without a doubt, Elsa's current favorite activity, even more than her newfound skill of crawling, is pulling herself up on anything and everything! Her greatest motivation to crawl is to get to more things that she can use to pull herself up. It's so cute to see the top of her face peering out over the couch cushions, with such joy and excitement in her eyes!

I just Love this picture. It captures Elsa's personality so well.

New Craft

2008-02-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

I've been making some foam animals to help decorate Elsa's playroom/Nathan's office. They are a lot of fun to make, and Elsa seems to enjoy them which is rewarding. I think the project has also been really good for me to practice visualizing the end product before I begin. I realized recently that when I'm doing a craft project, I kind of just start and build it as I go without having a clear idea of where I want the project to end up. As you can probably imagine, it can be a pretty problematic way of doing an art project. But these little animals really forced me to stop and think about how I wanted them to look, and what steps I needed to take to get them there (especially the frog legs and lamb's head!). I know they look really simplistic and a bit thrown together, but I actually put a lot of work into them and I'm pretty proud of both the process and result. Here they are, so far:

Here's the little baby tiger that's currently missing his tail, as I realized after hanging him up. It will be fixed soon. He definitely has the most detail out of all of the little animals.

This little pig is the first one I made. You can tell, because it has the least amount of detail and required the least amount of pre-construction visualization.

Here's the frog. I am really proud of those hind legs. They had me stumped for a bit and I had to stop and sketch out how I wanted him to look in order to figure out the right shape and position for them. They taught me a lot.

This is Little Lamb. Elsa's favorite book, song, and stuffed animals are all about Little Lamb. Those ears and jaw line sure gave me trouble for a while, but I'm pretty happy with the result. Though, I still haven't figure out the mouth. I'm leaving him without one for now. This is Nathan's favorite one. He's getting a big kick out of the animals. :)

Here's a picture of them hanging up above her mirror. I tried to get a picture of her playing with them, but alas, she was more interested in crawling. Typically, she likes to stand up, leaning against the wall or mirror, and feel them.

That's all of them for now. I'm currently working on a chicken. I'm trying to figure out what animals to make with the colors I have left. Suggestions? I'll post more pictures as more are made.

Update

2008-02-10T22:58:00.000-08:00

Here's a collection of clips of Elsa's developmental milestones over the last couple of months. Sorry we didn't post them sooner, or in a shorter, easier-to-view-quickly format. This video includes: Elsa's first meal of "solids", scooting backwards while trying to figure out how to crawl, rolling over, wrestling with Papa, and pulling herself up. Also, as of yesterday, Elsa is crawling! Video documentation to come "soon", as soon as she lets us get a good shot of it. Woohoo!

Elsa Sits!

2007-12-31T17:58:00.001-08:00

Now her hands are free to play with things, like her favorite new toy: The Infant Tylenol Bottle.

Family Vacation

2007-12-30T16:36:00.001-08:00

Nathan, Elsa and I took our first-ever family vacation this week. We took a ferry over to the San Juan Islands for a few nights this past week. Although it was a bit too cold for Elsa, who ended up with a cold despite all the bundling, it was a great trip for all of us and we are excited to go back in the summer for more exploration and whale watching!

This is the dock at Friday Harbor, where we stayed for two nights while we explore San Juan Island

This is Elsa on the ferry ride home, feeling kind of punk.

Elsa, watching out the window of the ferry.

This is what Elsa was watching on the ferry ride home.

Nathan and Elsa, braving the wind at Lime Kiln Park

Elsa is not too impressed

The shore at Lime Kiln Park, which is a popular place for watching Orca Whales during summer and fall. There are three pods of whales that live in the bay around the San Juan Islands, and during summer they often come very close to shore at this park so you can do some free whale watching without disturbing the whales.

So Tired

2007-12-12T22:48:00.000-08:00

Elsa is five months old. Why is she suddenly waking up every hour at night?

And We're Off!

2007-11-16T07:11:00.000-08:00

Let the Great Midwest Extravaganza commence! Elsa and I are about to leave for Chicago! I'm a little nervous about taking my first flight with her without any help (Nathan's coming out later). I'll let you know how it goes!

For Grandpa on His Birthday (or a few days after the fact...sorry)

2007-11-09T10:08:00.001-08:00

Here's a clip of Elsa doing some of her favorite things: talking, standing, playing with her rattle, drooling.

Quick Update

2007-10-30T11:10:00.001-07:00

We went to the doctor's this morning because Elsa's cold got really bad last night. I was up all night because she was coughing and wheezing, snorting and gasping all night long. Thankfully she slept through most of it, so she was well rested and pretty happy at her appointment. We learned that, contrary to how it sounds, it is just a cold, it's not in her lungs or her ears. Phew. Our nurse told us that colds are always worse at night for babies, both because of their reclining position and because their airways are smaller at night. How convenient!

We learned a few other things while we were there:

She weighs over 13lbs now! (Just barely under the 50th percentile)
She proved to our nurse that she does, in fact, HATE tummy time in all it's forms and that even an experienced pediatric nurse cannot trick her into it. But we still have to keep trying. We were also reassured that her hatred of all things tummy will not hinder her from rolling, as her interest in reaching for things will, eventually, win out.
She is TEETHING. She not even four months old yet! I blame Nathan, who had 6 teeth by the time he was 6 months old. She's just a baby and she's getting teeth already!

Well, I'm going to try to catch a quick nap before Elsa wakes herself up with all this coughing.

This Picture Makes Me Laugh Out Loud

2007-10-29T23:02:00.001-07:00

Every time. Elsa's had a cold for a while now, so I haven't had a lot of time for posting and uploading pictures. Hopefully she'll feel better and we'll catch you all up soon. In the mean time, for more great pictures of KT and Martha's visit, go here.

Clips of Elsa!

2007-10-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

Here are some clips of Elsa's two favorite activities lately: playing with her fingers and bringing things to her mouth. The video camera ran out of battery in the middle of filming so we missed the transition from fingers to toys. It also ends abruptly, but don't worry, she stopped crying right away. :)

More Pictures

2007-09-24T18:20:00.001-07:00

Mama/Elsa Self Portrait

Elsa in her new fall jacket

Elsa looking so tiny!

Our "new" Persian rug

Nap time with Papa

Elsa, sitting in the chair in which she was almost born

So chubby and cute!

Smiling at her mama

Being sneaking with the tummy time

Aahhh, 12 weeks

2007-09-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

After several weeks that were both isolating because we had no visitors and tiring because Elsa was waking up every 1.5 to 2 hours to eat at night, we finally got a break this weekend. I woke up early Saturday morning and was surprised to find that: 1) it was 5:30 (rather than the 3:30 that I'm used to) and 2) Elsa was still sleeping! I was so surprised by how long she was sleeping that I: 1) checked to make sure everything was alright (it was) and 2) had a hard time falling back to sleep. So I rested for a while, falling in and out of a light sleep, opening my eyes periodically to make sure she was still ok. Then, at 6:30 (as in SIX AND A HALF hours after she went to sleep!), I opened my eyes and looked over to see Elsa staring at me. No fussing or crying, just watching me, waiting for me to wake up and feed her. Now it's Monday and I have had 3 nights in a row of sleeping 5+ hours straight. It's nice.

Then, as if this magical sleep increase wasn't enough to smile about, last night Nathan, Elsa and I were invited to a friend's house for dinner where we ate delicious Persian food and met another young family whose daughter is 6 months old. There are a lot of other Baha'is who have recently had babies (three new babies just in July alone!), so we're going to start a mom's group. Again, nice.

Elsa is 12 weeks old today!
More pictures to come soon.

Pay it forward, in a crafty sort of way

2007-09-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

My cousin/friend, Katie, got me started in a crafty pay-it-forward game that I am very excited about. Here's how it goes: I will (eventually, according to Elsa's schedule) send a home-made crafty surprise to the first three people to make a comment on this post, and it will then be the responsibility of those three people to give a crafty creation to three other random people (whether through your blog, like this, or however else you choose those three people). I know that quite a few people who read this blog are incredibly talented and creative in their crafts, so leave a comment and join in the fun!

Tagged

2007-09-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Husayn to make a list of 10 things that I like about myself. It's a hard list to make, but I've been so inspired by everyone else's lists that I'm excited to meet the challenge. Nathan is playing with Elsa, so let's see if I can do this all in one shot:

1) I love possibilities. I love hearing about new things that stretch and expand my concept of what our world is and how it functions. I especially love it when those ideas and theories contradict with what is normally thought to be true and real, and then I get to explore the world in a new way.

2) Despite the current state of our house, I am actually very organized. This helps me when I have time to really write, when I facilitate meetings, and when I plan events.

3) Since moving to Seattle and having Elsa, I have really pushed myself to be more outgoing and to let my guard down with people. I've had good results, too. Especially with my neighbors.

4) I strive to treat people with respect and kindness, and to take responsibility for the impact that I have on people I interact with.

5) I adapt well to new situations and environments.

6) I am very sensitive and perceptive to the people and interactions around me. I really enjoy observing how people interact, and I sometimes have an uncanny understanding of why people are acting the way that they are.

7) I love to laugh and to make people feel at ease through laughter.

8) I have recently come to appreciate the value and joy of the learning process, as well as the patience it requires.

9) With the help of Elsa, I am increasing my capacity to love. I have recently stopped seeing people as being static and unchanging, but rather as beings capable of tremendous growth and development. The more I see them as such, the more I am able to love them.

10) Whenever I'm frightened by something, a part of me recognizes that fear as a personal challenge for me to face it and learn from it. And, often, instead of being stifled by that fear, I am excited for the opportunity for growth. And yet, somehow, I'm still kind of afraid of the dark.

Next up: Heather, Martha, Bahiyyih, Anna, Reed and Talieh. Let's hear what you like!

Two Months!

2007-09-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking of much longer, more thought-out posts, but don't ever seem to have the time or energy to write them. So quick updates it is.

Elsa is blossoming. When she's awake (and not working on gas) she is a happy, smiley, talkative little lady. She is exploring all the different sounds she can make with her voice, and recently said "hello" very clearly. Here's a picture of her talking to her papa.

She suddenly loves the Baby Bjorn. Her favorite thing these days is to take a walk outside in the Bjorn. She coos and babbles the entire time and her little head is constantly in motion as she looks at everything around her. I think she's getting tired of our house already, but she loves going to new places where there are lots of things and people to look at. And people love her. Everybody smiles and laughs when they see her looking around, her eyes wide and bright with learning. She's also able to do this because she has gotten so good at holding her head up!

Her second favorite thing to do is to be propped up on the couch so that she's "sitting" by herself. We have to correct her when she topples sideways, but she loves it! She gets such a kick out of herself, it's great. She gets so excited that she kicks both of her legs and flails her arms and topples over. Quite an adorable site to see.

While taking pictures of her sitting on the couch, we also discovered that she's quite the playful little ham. While this picture was being taken, she seriously looked right at the camera and gave this slow, playful, very deliberate little grin. It was incredible!

These pictures were provided by/stolen from Nathan's sister, Talieh. Thanks!

Elsa just woke up, so we'll have to save the pictures of our recent batch of visitors for another time!

Bath Time

2007-08-28T19:08:00.001-07:00

Also, many more pictures on Nathan's Flickr Page

6 weeks!

2007-08-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost been six weeks already. What an intense, crazy, amazing time. Seriously, time has a whole new meaning. It simultaneously goes by so fast and so slow, it's really ridiculous. Here are just a few of the many, many things Elsa has accomplished in her first month and a half outside of the womb:

She smiles a lot
She very rarely cries nowadays. She only fusses when she has gas, and even then she stops fussing when we give her something to suck on
She has great control of her neck
She's trying to roll over
She is now willing to nurse, she just doesn't do it very well yet
On a related note, she's well over 8lbs now. We'll find out how "well over" next Tuesday.
She loves looking in the mirror
She can sleep up to five hours at night
She can burp herself
And the newest, greatest development: she chuckles. That's right. Not quite an all out laugh or even a giggle. She chuckles. Which leaves me with the questions: what does she find funny? And how does someone so little already have a sense of humor?

Confessions of a New Momma

2007-07-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

My favorite thing to do when I'm not holding Elsa is to look at pictures of her.

My sense of time has completely changed in every way.

Sometimes Elsa and I just stare at each other. She not knowing how to talk and me not knowing what else to say.

All of the mothers I know are so strong, so on some level I thought that being a mother would suddenly mean I no longer had all of the weaknesses and struggles that I had before. Not true. Now I'm just being forced to admit to them and work on them.

I've had a headache for about five days because I crane my neck down to look at her so much.

I don't "sleep when baby sleeps". Does anyone, really?

Last night, it really annoyed me that Nathan had the option of sleeping. To his credit, he was trying very hard not to so he could help with Elsa.

I already feel like she's growing way too fast.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around her birth. It's hard to connect her with the being that was inside of me for so long, and I sometimes doubt that I actually pushed her out.

I love how plump her fingers are.

Crisis and Victory

2007-07-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

After feeling so discouraged and overwhelmed with the whole feeding process yesterday and today, this afternoon we had a small victory. With all of the pumping and feeding contraptions, I've been pretty bruised these past few days which has made the whole process all the more difficult. But today, despite the bruising and other frustrations, Elsa latched on one side for twenty minutes. And it was totally pain-free. For the first time. Ever.

Suddenly, in just a short twenty minutes, our feeding routine seems a bit more manageable.

Not quite what I expected

2007-07-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed and caught-off-guard by this whole parenting thing. There are all sorts of challenges and changes that I somehow never saw coming, and at the same time all of the things that I thought were going to be my major challenges and hurtles seem so minuscule at the moment. I thought my biggest challenge was going to be sleep, but we've had so much help from my mom and Suzanne that I've been able to feel relatively well rested so far. a few days ago, I stopped keeping track of how many hours of sleep I got each night and stopped expecting/hoping to get any amount. I'm happy when I get more than an hour at a time, and it's actually hard for me to sleep more than two hours now. But once I gave up the expectation of sleep it became so much easier to get up to feed Elsa at night, and it can even be rather enjoyable when she has a (hopefully brief) peaceful time awake after eating at night, and she just sits there in my arms, taking in her surroundings while I sing songs and prayers to her. That's not to say that I don't occasionally wake Nathan up to take her, or daydream about a full night of sleep. But it's not as all-consuming as I thought it would be. 2am is starting to be a very sweet, peaceful time for us. As long as it doesn't last until 4am.

On the other hand, I thought the whole "eating" thing would just happen. I knew it could be challenging, but I never once worried about how she would latch on or how much milk I would/wouldn't have for her. I thought I would have a choice about whether or not to use formula, and pumping was not in my vocabulary. I knew, in theory, that traveling would be difficult, but I never once thought that I would be tied to the house so that I could pump regularly. But here I am, with my milk supply about a quarter of what it needs to be, and a daughter who has trouble latching on. It feels like we are doing everything under the sun, but progress feels so slow and I don't always feel like it's worth it. We are pumping, tube feeding, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, using a nipple shield and taking all sorts of supplements meant to augment milk supply. I am constantly praying for the strength and patience to make it through each pumping, and praying that Elsa will have the patience to make it through the breastfeedings. I went to the lactation consultant today, and it was rather bittersweet. On the one hand, she did not cut down any of the elements that are involved in our feedings, but on the other hand she helped me set up a plan so that it was all organized and condensed into a one-hour block of time rather than spread throughout the day constantly. So now our feeding routine takes an hour, but there should be about a two-hour chunk of time between feedings in which we can at least take a walk. That is, of course, assuming we can convince Elsa that she only wants to eat every three hours, rather than the two hour schedule she's gotten into. It's just such a struggle. I don't think I've ever worked so hard for anything before.

Another thing that surprised me was how much I enjoy having her sleep with me. I typically like some space while I sleep, but even though it's a bit easier to sleep when she's in the bed-side co-sleeper, it's so much more enjoyable and calming when she's sleeping with me. And, the biggest shock of all, Nathan doesn't flail about in his sleep when he knows that Elsa is sleeping between us!

Oh yeah, and I never thought I would be so happy see so much poop. She's quite the machine. Literally, all she does is eat, sleep and poop. She's constantly doing at least one of them, and sometimes she tries to do them all at once. We are very proud.

She Poops!

2007-07-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

We're back from the hospital, and Elsa is looking chubby, pink and healthy. She's made such a great recovery and I'm so proud of her. It's been such a rough week, to say the least, and it feels so good to be home again.

Soon after Elsa was born, we noticed that she had stopped pooping. Being curious and kind of concerned, we called her pediatrician's office and were reassured by a nurse there that it was totally normal, and we should not worry until it's been about a week. After a poopless week, we took an increasingly frustrated and sleepy Elsa into the doctor's office where we found she had lost 20% of her body weight and needed to go to the ER to get rehydrated. We rushed to the ER where they hooked her up to an IV, and discovered that her resting heart rate was slower than they like, so we went to intensive care. We spent a good couple of days in ICU, learning that she just has a lower resting heart rate andd that she is perfectly healthy in every way, except that she needed to start eating more. Then we were transfered to a less intensive care unit, so they could monitor her feeding and weight gain for a few days.

In the mean time, whether due to lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of fluids, excess stress, or all of the above, my milk supply stopped. So I'm doing everything I can to get my milk supply back (which is frustrating and has a whole other range of emotions associated with it), but in the mean time Elsa is thriving and growing nice and plump on formula, which is what is important. All of the doctors and nurses in the ER and ICU kept marvelling at how healthy she looked, despite being so dehydrated, because they don't typcially get to see such healthy looking babies. I thought she looked rather healthy before too, and then I saw her after a night on her IV drip and thought, "now THIS is a healthy baby". I thought Nathan and I had a fussy baby who was overwhelmed by the world, and maybe she was. But now that she's hydrated and eating enough she is such a happy baby. She seriously hardly every cries for anything. The only time she cried the entire time we were in the hospital was when the nurses were poking and prodding her to get her vitals and when they took too long (by her standards) to get her food. Otherwise, she either sleeps calmly and responsively, or looks around, wide-eyed and peacefully taking in her surroundings.

And, boy, can she poop! Mom and I were changing an already messy diaper this afternoon when she let rip another violent poop that shot halfway across the room! Hooray for pooping!

Not so much with the three weeks.

2007-07-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

So, Elsa decided she was done waiting! Really done. She was born at 10:46 pm on Monday, July 2nd, after a labor that only lasted 4.5 hrs. Whew! She's still adjusting to the world, trying to decide what she thinks. (I started this post two days ago and this is as far as I got). So yes, still adjusting. We had a rough couple of nights here, but today is proving to be better. She has such great expressions, I should start keeping the camera around all the time but it's hard to hold her and take a picture at the same time. Nathan's got some pictures up on his flickr site (link on the right), but here are a few that I love.

Hanging out with Tia Suzanne

Sleeping Peacefully

Nap Time with Papa

One Lonely Curl

Remolding Her Face

Watcha Doing Dad?

Oddly, her favorite burping position

3 weeks!??!!

2007-06-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

We reached full term yesterday! Where'd that come from? We got to Seattle, blinked, and were told that Elsa can be born at any moment without fear of it being too early, developmentally. Even though we know it's not all that likely that she'll come very soon before her due date, it's still a trip thinking that she could come at any time. So we are now rushing (in a sense) to set up the house. The crib and rocking chair arrived this week and are all set up. We ordered the changing table and it should be here this week. I'm starting to regret not doing more unpacking while we were staying at the hotel. It's a lot harder to keep up with things when you are trying to do the cleaning from regular living on top of the unpacking and setting up and cleaning from moving. But, there's not much we can do about that, so we're taking it one day at a time, one task at a time.

We've been doing pretty well while settling in. Nathan has finished his first full week at work already, and he loves it. It's going to take a while to get used to a more rigid schedule and getting much less time with him than what we were used to as students, but it's nice to see him so happy and relatively stress-free when he gets home. We met our neighbors, who have a young daughter, and we've already done a couple of things with them during the day. We've been to several dinners and things with members from the Baha'i community out here, and learned that there are quite a few young couples with babies due in July. Overall, I think we've been more socially active in our first few weeks here than we traditionally have been anywhere else we've lived. Which is surprising, but probably makes sense considering we really don't have anything else going on in the evenings now that we're no longer students. And, we're trying to reach out and meet people and cram in all the socializing we can get before the baby comes (which is soon!). So, although there are the normal downfalls and struggles of moving (i.e. trying to find a place to go grocery shopping that doesn't cost three times as much as groceries in Urbana, discovering all of the things that were broken or otherwise damaged during the move, etc.), we've been very fortunate in the neighborhood and the community that we've moved into. The weather is supposed to warm up some more this week, and I'd like to go swimming in the lake that's just a few blocks away. And with Elsa's due date just three weeks away, our visitors are going to start trickling in as well. Actually, my Uncle Mark is in town this week and we're getting together with him for dinner. That's really something to look forward to (and to clean for!).

Tagged

2007-06-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged twice, so here goes:

1) I love reading stories that have good character development. It annoys me when the characters stay the same and never learn.

2) Although I don't consider myself very outdoorsy, I feel the most tremendous peace and tranquility in the woods, especially when there's also water nearby.

3) Kayaking is my favorite. I would do it every day if I could. I'm still waiting for a game of kayak dodgeball.

4) I'm totally afraid of being outside in the dark (with very few exceptions), as all of my RIW friends can attest to.

5) When I was in third grade, I opened my closet door and saw a ghost inside. I'm not a big fan of closets anymore.

6) I love organization and do best when my day is well-structured. If there's nothing planned for the day, I typically end up doing nothing. No laundry, no dishes, no crafts, nothing. It happens more than I like.

7) I am a horrible correspondent. No matter how much I love, miss, and crave the people that I am separated from, I don't call or write regularly. Seeing as I don't know anyone in the Pacific Northwest, this could prove to be a problem.

Spoiled. Rotten.

2007-06-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

Nathan has always been an extremely thoughtful and generous gift-giver with everyone, especially for me on my birthday. He really outdid himself this year. My birthday was this past Monday, and since we had only been in Seattle for a week and our furniture was being delivered that day, we spent most of the day unpacking and running errands. Nathan felt bad that the day was spent in such a practical, uninspired way and for a few days afterwards he would occasionally bring it up and wander aloud what we could do to celebrate my birthday. Then, about halfway through the week, he stopped talking about it. Until today. Today, he took me on a walk in our neighborhood and surprised me with a prenatal massage at a local clinic. Due to a slight miscommunication about the date of the appointment, we had to reschedule the massage for tomorrow but we ended up getting it for about 55% off as a result so it is well worth the wait. I'm really excited to go back tomorrow. The whole place had a really elegant yet relaxed and personal feel to it and I felt so relaxed just being there. The receptionist was very personable and he seemed genuinely interested in learning about us, rather than just making conversation as a part of his job. He was also very generous about making up for the miscommunication. Anyway, after filling out some paperwork at the clinic I went and met Nathan at a local bookstore, where he bought me a beautiful wind chime for our new front porch. After that, he took to me a fabulous dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant that was absolutely delicious, followed by a trip to a local theater to see Knocked Up, which was very funny.

It was such a sweet day. I feel so loved just thinking about the amount of thought he put into everything. It was all very purposeful and specific to our current circumstances. He can sometimes get so stressed out when buying gifts for people because he works so hard to get something that they will like and that is specific to them. He puts so much thought, time and energy into every gift he buys for people, it is very sweet to see. This is definitely not the first time I have been awed and humbled by his thoughtfulness and generosity.

Updates

2007-05-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

It's been a jam-packed couple of weeks. I've accomplished quite a bit, such as:

getting us packed for our move to Seattle
getting everything organized and sorted for the movers
cleaning our apartment
finding a beautiful new home in Seattle in the perfect location (we're signing the lease this week!)

Well, length-wise it's not a very impressive list. But each one was pretty time consuming and intense, so it feels good to have accomplished so much. Now I'm at my parent's house for a bit. My mom just left on a trip and I'm helping look after my youngest brother while I wait for Nathan to finish his work. Nathan is still in Urbana, sleeping on the floor of our empty apartment while working on what seems to be a never-ending thesis. I can't say that I'm particularly happy with his department, and I'm having a hard time seeing the humanity in his adviser. Admittedly, I'm not trying very hard to do so.

My mom, Suzanne, Husayn, and Amia just left for Rome and Haifa for a few weeks. I hope they have a good trip. I got to spend a few days with everyone before they left, which was very nice. This was the last time I'll see them until they visit us in Seattle, and maybe the last time I'll see them before Elsa is born. It's a startling feeling.

If you're in the Chicagoland area this week (and maybe next week too), visitors are welcome and appreciated!

Positive Thoughts, Positive Thoughts

2007-05-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

I found a great house to rent at the PERFECT location. And the landlords responded! They said we sound like the type of tenants they're looking for and will be sending us an application later tonight. Seriously, this is the best place we've found so far and I'm so excited it kind of hurts. I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight (not that that's anything new these days, but this time for better reasons). Any positive thoughts sent our way would be much appreciated. Much. Appreciated. Thanks! We'll keep you posted.

Spring Cleaning, of sorts

2007-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was saying goodbye to friends who had gathered for a joint graduation celebration, I realized that I was really saying goodbye. We are moving in four days, and this was probably the last time I would see most of the people there (for a while, anyway). It kind of shocked me.

Since the moving company is packing and loading our things for us, I haven't had to go through any physical preparation (i.e. packing) that, I think, helps with the mental preparation of moving. Anyway, it dawned on me that this move is for real, and not just this abstract thing that we are planning for in the distant future. Our house is a mess, with so many things just scattered around rather than in any logical place. There's just so much clutter, which I wanted to get rid of before the movers come on Thursday. So I got cleaning. Kind of. First, I took a nap. Then I ate dinner, went over financial stuff with Nathan, put on Pride and Prejudice and got to work. Tonight I sorted through everything in one of our living rooms, put away everything that we needed to keep, and threw away everything else. It felt good to do that work, and it also feels really good to be in an uncluttered room. I just breath better when our house is organized and clean. So, one room down, five to go. Maybe I should have done this earlier, then we could have enjoyed it a bit more before we moved. Oh well, it feels good to be doing it now, and it's helping me get ready to leave an area that I love so much. Now I just need activities that will help me adjust to the idea of leaving all of the people that I love so much. I feel lonely thinking about it.

Fishing for Advice

2007-05-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

Since our apartment-finding service has still not contacted us, I've gone into a bit of a panic and I spend hours looking at the same set of apartments advertised on various websites online. The problem is that we are not in Seattle, and apartments go fast there, so we cannot view the apartment and we are at a major disadvantage compared to the rest of the renting population (which is, unfortunately, just about the ENTIRE population of Seattle, seeing as the housing market is so expensive that no one can afford to buy). Anyway, after being repeatedly told by landlords who had posted their advertisements hours before that they simply had too many applicants to consider any more, we finally got a slightly more encouraging response.

We are definitely calling them back, but I wanted to get advice from other parental types as regards to what you think about the apartment.

The Pros:

Dishwasher
Sunroom
Lots of light
Fantastic location, walking access to stores, grocery, and two amazing parks
Within our budget
Fireplace
PIANO!!!

The Cons:

Third Floor (can you really get a stroller up and down all of that?)
Washer/Dryer coin operated in the basement
West-facing bedroom windows, which means hot summer nap times

Honestly, of the Cons, the only one that really worries us is the third floor thing. The place looks really nice, and the landlords sound like they really care about the condo and are taking their time finding the right people to rent to. Any suggestions anyone has on how realistic it is to live on the third floor with a newborn would be much appreciated!

A Beautiful Weekend

2007-05-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my sisters threw a wonderful baby shower for me, Nathan, and (of course) Elsa. It could not have gone better! The fluctuating weather we've been experiencing this spring settled down for the day and stayed at a breezy, sunny, 70 degrees. So friends and family who we love dearly and see way too little of were able to gather, tell stories, play games, and laugh outside in my parents' yard. It was truly blissful! It was such a joyous occasion, and I am still light with the love that filled the day.

Elsa defied her tias by being surprisingly still all weekend, and would only move when there were no expectant hands nearby. Her little cousin was the only one whose touch was light enough that it didn't still the fluttering movements. I don't know whether Elsa's stillness was due to being sleepy, sensitive, or just a stinker because as soon as we got home she started moving like crazy and she seriously has barely stopped moving since Sunday! Her previous pattern of sleep all day, play at night has been abandoned. Now, it's play for ten minutes, sleep for five, play for two minutes, sleep for twenty, etc. She's up at all times of day and night and you can see every movement she makes! It kind of blows me away to be able to see her movements in addition to feeling them. It seems a bit more concrete to me that she's a little person. I find myself talking to her a lot more now, telling her what I'm doing, explaining what time of day it is, apologizing for squishing her. She's so real! And, she's absolutely, indisputably in love with her dad. She follows his voice whenever he talks to her, and she kicks whenever he asks her to. No joke. Except for this weekend when the tias were waiting expectantly. Stinker.

All photos taken and provided by Liza. Thanks, Liza!

Spring Arrives, Productivity Abounds

2007-04-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

Today is my day off of work this week. The weather is gorgeously sunny outside, and I have been amazingly productive as a result. No, the dishes still aren't done, but I have:

set up packing/loading dates with the moving company
set up a date for the car to be picked up from Wichita
contacted a birthing center in Seattle and set up an appointment for the day after we arrive
signed up for breast-feeding and newborn care classes to be taken here in Urbana before we leave
registered for a few more baby items at Target
completely replenished our food supply at home (it had been a while)

Now I think I'm going to go take a nap before cooking dinner and going to a meeting tonight. In other good news, Nathan got some data today!

On a Related Note

2007-04-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

Does anyone have any suggestions for dealing with heartburn? I've had it for about a week now, and it's getting kinda old. My gut reaction is to chug water, which doesn't work, but that doesn't stop me from drinking more. My throat and bladder could use a break, if anyone has some alternative suggestions.

Elsa Update

2007-04-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

We have officially entered the third trimester. Three months, minus four days, plus or minus two weeks.

Seriously Disappointing

2007-04-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

I somehow managed to make flavorless brownies. All the aroma, texture and moisture of perfect brownies, with no flavor follow-through. I don't understand.

More Dreaming

2007-04-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

I've been having a few dreams about Elsa lately, and they always leave me waking up happy and excited for her to come. For example, a few weeks ago, I had a dream that we were visiting the Falconers and the Allmarts in Evanston shortly after Elsa was born. She was only a few months old, but she was pretty big, communicative, and very mobile. Seriously, we could not keep track of her. She kept trying to get away to do her own thing, and she finally succeded. We were sitting around at the Falconers when we blinked and she wasn't there. We ran downstairs, panicked, to find her riding a unicycle up and down the block.

My dream last night, though, was the best yet (possibly because there wasn't the corresponding panic of losing track of an infant). In the dream, it was the first morning after Elsa was born and Nathan, Elsa and I were still in bed. I was holding her, and she was all swaddled up and Nathan was lying next to us. Apparently, I had not put her down since she was born the night before and Nathan was telling me that it would be ok for me to put her down. It was so strange to finally let her go, but I set her down, propped up against the blankets so that she was facing both of us. She was being very active, "talking" in a very animated way (as animated as you can be when swaddled, I suppose). I wondered out loud when she was going to fall asleep, and as soon as I said it she immediately stopped talking and, to all appearances, fell asleep. We were in awe. We could not believe she could just fall asleep like that! But then, she started laughing to herself, really cracking herself up and laughing so hard that she lost her balance and rolled over onto the blankets. She had made her first joke! And it was hilarious! We were so proud.

Lessons Learned (So Far) in Wheat-Free, Yeast-Free, Sugar-Free Baking

2007-04-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

1) Soy Flour is still disgusting
2) Quick breads are our only hope
3) Oats have gluten
4) Rice Flour has a nice flavor, though by itself it is very grainy and refuses to hold together
5) Experimentation can be mighty expensive, especially with the price of wheat-alternative flours
6) Determination and detachment (I cried when I found out oats have gluten)

After a few months of trying, I still haven't made a completely successful wheat-free, yeast-free, and sugar-free baked good. There's always something that's just a little bit off. I'm ordering some more wheat-alternative flours, and I'm waiting for them to come before I start trying more bread recipes. In the mean time, I made some Raspberry Almond Bars today that were very close to being a success. They taste delicious, and are free of all things poisonous to Nathan, but I used brown rice flour, so they are rather tricky to eat. You kind of have to scoop it into your mouth. I'm going to miss Strawberry Fields when we move. It's a health food store just down the block from us and they sell all sorts of wonderful things in bulk, like brown rice flour and unsweetened coconut shreds and granola and sea salt and loose tea leaves. It's made experimenting slightly less expensive because I only buy exactly what I need.

The Birth

2007-03-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

So, a few weeks ago I found myself avoiding thinking, planning, or even talking about the whole birth process. It didn't seem possible to me, and I didn't feel very confident that I could do it. I would think about being pregnant and I would thinking about holding our daughter, but my mind would skip over that middle step of giving birth to her. But sometime last week I had a dream in which I actually did skip that process. I was pregnant, then I wasn't, and I was waiting for "them" (I don't know who "they" were) to bring Elsa to me from the hospital. I was anxious for them to be there and kept thinking that something was wrong with the scenario, that it was odd that Elsa should be with other people at the hospital and that I wasn't. But they finally brought her to me, and my family was around and we all took her on a walk. We had forgotten to bring a blanket for her and it started to rain, so Nathan sprinted back to the house to get a blanket while I put her under my coat because she was getting warm. Elsa was very understanding and accomodating, and seemed to laugh with us at our lack or forethought as we learned how to take care of her. Although the events of the dream turned out alright, the entire time I had such a sad feeling. I felt like I had been deprived of a necessary transition from being pregnant to having the baby there with me, and as a result I had to really strive to build a connection with Elsa that would have otherwise been there as a natural result of giving birth to her.

That feeling of deprivation stayed with me all day after the dream, and it enabled me to really think about the birth more, the environment that I want, the strength that I'll need, etc. And, honestly, I've even started looking forward to it. The other day Nathan brought home a book about birthing and I started reading it last night. I had a really hard time putting it down and am glad to have the day off today so I can continue reading it. So far it is just stories from women about their birthing experiences. I'm so glad Nathan brought the book home when he did because even just reading these stories helps me feel more competent and confident. These women were all able to deal with the pain and challenges as they came and their actions, thoughts, and attitudes directly impacted how the birth progressed. I no longer really feel like birth is something being done to me by the baby and the midwives, but it is something that I am doing and that my thoughts and attitudes towards it will make a big difference towards what happens.

Meeting My Daughter

2007-02-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

There have been a lot of changes this last week! Nathan and I learned that we are having a girl, and I've started feeling her move around quite a bit. As a result, the pregnancy has seemed much more real lately, and I've felt a stronger connection to our daughter. So far, we've learned:

She is quite the squirmer. Seriously, she didn't sit still on the ultrasound for a second, except when she seemed to fall asleep for a minute while in the middle of trying to do a somersault (spelling?). Email me if you'd like to see the ultrasound that we put on youtube.
Her most active time as around 9-10 pm.
She either really likes, or is allergic to, chocolate cake.
When she can find it, she likes to play with my bladder.
She is a bit small but perfectly healthy.
She might be named Elsa.

That's what I've learned so far. I'll keep you posted.

Brrr...

2007-02-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Urbana is currently in the process of getting 9-12'' of snow, with the wind making it "blizzard-like conditions". The store where I am currently employed is closed due to the weather, despite being told yesterday that the store NEVER closes for weather. Basically, I got exactly what I wanted yesterday evening! A huge snow storm that would close work and allow me to stay home and enjoy the beauty of the deep snow from inside my cozy apartment.

Almost.

Our heater broke sometime overnight. So it feels in here as it does out there, minus the windchill (which is something to be thankful for). Our landlords are out of town and their heating company is closed for the day due to the weather. Luckily, the second heating company I called was open. Scratch that, they just called to say they can't make it. So I'm going to go call more companies. I just hope the pipes don't freeze!

Lesson #1 in Wheat-free, Yeast-free, Sugar-free Baking

2007-02-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

As appetizing as they may sound, do not be fooled into trying wheat-free, sugar-free, soy flour cookies. They are particularly disgusting.

Exciting Things All Around

2007-02-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

Although 6 out of the 7 days this past week have been completely routine and ordinary, we had enough excitement contained in one day to make the entire week seem full of excitement. On Wednesday, Nathan and I took a break from our daily routine of work, research, school, and cleaning (or, rather, avoiding cleaning) to go up to Evanston to learn more about our dietary needs and restrictions, etc. It was amazing. We learned so much about ourselves, it was crazy. Here's a brief overview:

Nathan is allergic to wheat and yeast, and should also avoid fermented foods such as mushrooms.
Nathan's body is not equipped to handle stress, and his pancreas in particular is attacked by stress, which directly impacts his diabetes and his ability to regulate his blood sugar levels.
Nathan should avoid carbs in the morning because they make his blood sugar unbalanced, and if he starts the day unbalanced, the entire day will remain that way. Instead, he should have protein in the morning.
Protein, specifically meat, is Nathan's medicine. It's especially good for him when mixed with leafy greens.
Sugar is obviously Nathan's poison, but he does great with honey. Not straight, but anything sweetened with honey is good for him (such as baked goods, tea, cocoa, etc). Which is interesting because it breaks down in the body just like a protein does.
I don't have any dietary restrictions, but I should eat a wide variety of foods. My body catalogues the day according to what I ate, so if I eat the same thing several days in a row, it's like I'm living the same day over and over again.
I have a strong genetic connection to the women on my mother's side of the family (ten generations back!). They had a lot of emotional stressors in their lives and relied on each other for comfort, and primarily comforted each other through food and baking. They passed that onto me, and I go to baked goods (with high flour and sugar contents) as a form of comfort when I don't have an outlet for my emotions (which is often because I am apparently extremely sensitive to my surroundings). A simple way to change this genetic code is to journal solely about my emotions and work things out that way.
I am so sensitive that my body as developed a thin layer of water between my skin and fat as a way to protect myself.
I don't need a tremendous amount of excersize. Two or three times a week with something moderate that I love, like swimming, yoga, or walking is all my body really needs. Working out in the morning is especially good for me because my adrenal glands need a boost in the morning, and it will give me untold energy throughout the day. Caffeine in the morning has the opposite affect for me.
The Pacific Northwest is very good for Nathan and he will do extremely well in that climate.
I can live anywhere.
Except Florida. Nothing about Florida agrees with me.
The baby is very sensitive and artistic!

Those are the main points that were covered, but there's so much more! It was such an amazing experience to learn so much in such a short span of time. We were only there for an hour and we covered a lot.

After the appointment, Nathan and I spent squeezed in a short visit with dear friends before heading to Elmhurst to but our new car! We got a 2007 Toyota Yaris. It was the floor model, so it only had 18 miles on it (we took care of that, driving back down to Urbana later that night). It is a beautiful, "menacing gray" as Nathan likes to call it. We're in love. We drove our new car to my parents' house in Batavia, had dinner, gave Dan our old car, forgot all of our vital car documents in said old car, and headed back to Urbana with our brand new car and no proof that we actually owned it.

What a great, family-filled, fun-filled, learning-packed day! I am very excited to see the impact that Nathan's new dietary changes has. We're cutting off wheat and yeast, but haven't noticed any immediate changes. The whole protein in the morning thing has immediately proven to be pure genious.

I think that's enough for now. It's quite a long post.

Updates

2007-01-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

In case it wasn't obvious, I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do with the whole blog thing. I've been feeling rather uninspired to write, even thought there are quite a few things going on. Hopefully a new template that has an easily changeable format will inspire more involvement. We'll see. For now, a quick update:

I am 13.5 weeks pregnant, due July "14th"

We have our first real doctor's visit this Friday

I am finally finished with my undergrad!

Nathan and I tried going to Arizona, but wound up in Kansas due to a death in the family, we spent a wonderful few days with family and friends

I am the proud owner of an amazing digital camcorder and an amazing new sewing machine

I am working quasi full-time selling shoes, trying desperately to remain civil to customers after I've hit the 25 hour mark

The steering on our "car" is acting funny again, and we're thinking about getting a Yaris

I will be tutoring Ruhi Book 4 in February

I am trying to figure out how to go about planning a fundraiser, and am hoping some young friends will help me out

Nathan helped me pick out fabrics for my first quilt, but I forgot to buy thread

Nathan and I are planning on visiting Julie Walker (hopefully soon)

We got our new pilgrimage dates and are trying to figure out a good time to travel with a baby (does such a thing exist?)

Well, that's it for now. Maybe I'll feel a bit more inspired after the house is a little cleaner!

Downhill!

2006-12-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

I just finished my independent study write up! I am now on the downward slope of the semester with only two finals to go!

My Work Makes Me Laugh (Sometimes)

2006-12-11T20:25:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I went into the lab to see a large sign reading DO NOT SHAVE UNTIL DECEMBER 4TH!!!

About a week ago (probably on December 4th), a sign was posted in the middle of the store, reading: "Results of the first (and hopefully last) Annual H2T Facial Hair Growing Competition". Categories included:

"Overall Best Facial Hair Grower: i.e. Best in Show"

and

"First Place for Best Last Few Days of Facial Hair Growing: i.e. Looking Surprisingly Good All of A Sudden"

Success!

2006-12-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

This semester I faced my fears and won because of it. I took an upper level Urban Planning class that was focused on practical application of community development. That doesn't sound that fear-inducing, I know. That's why I signed up for it. I was scared of the class because it was an upper level class (I was the only undergrad, as well as the only one not in urban planning/community dev't), and it was application in a field that I had not had any experience in. So I was really excited on the one hand because it's what I've been looking for, but also really scared because I had never done this before. It turned out to be one of the best classes I've taken. My fear never really left, but it became more of an exciting, motivational fear. I never really felt like I knew what I was doing all semester, but I somehow always managed to do it correctly. Our class worked as a kind of "development firm" for this small town in southwestern Illinois (population 400) that was trying to spur its community into growth (economic, size, image, etc). So our class conducted surveys to learn of their concerns and interests, brainstormed and researched starting ideas, met and presented those ideas to the community, did more research based on their feedback and input, and presented them with the final product. We gave our final presentation to the community yesterday (Saturday), and it was fantastic. It was also the best job I've ever done on a presentation I think. I remembered to breath and to focus on explaining all of the material, rather than to focus on just getting to the end. I was still nervous and my voice was not quite its normal pitch, but it was shaking and I wasn't out of breath by the end of it. My classmates said I was very clear and tied everything together really well!

Anyway, the portion of the project that I researched and presented on was the town's Civil War Cemetery. We had an opportunity to explore the cemetery on our first visit down, and I was so glad that this was my part of the project because I absolutely fell in love with the cemetery! The pictures don't do it justice, nor do they even begin to show how deep into the woods this cemetery goes! It was such a magical experience to go poking through these overgrown woods (there was absolutely no walking path and quite a bit of poison ivy) to explore this historic cemetery, and the farther we went into the woods the farther the cemetery went! We eventually had to stop, though we saw headstones in the distance that we couldn't figure out how to get to. We were also there right before dusk, so the lighting through the trees was beautiful too (also not shown in these pictures). All in all, the class was amazing. Here are some pictures of the cemetery:

Oh, Baby

2006-12-08T21:47:00.000-08:00

So, Nathan and I are having a baby. (S)he is due in July (on Amia's birthday!), and it's all still pretty surreal. The baby is still to small to feel it moving, so I kind of just have to believe that it's there and doing all the growing that the pregnancy books says it's doing. There aren't a lot of visible changes in myself, but here's what's been changing so far:

1) I sleep. A lot. Between 10:30pm last night and 3:30pm this afternoon, I slept close to 14 hours. I also fall asleep a lot faster and sleep a lot sounder. That, I can handle.

2) I hate the thought of homemade macoroni and cheese.

3) I am under the constant guilt that everything I do, eat, or touch can detrimentally effect the baby, and that everything I don't do, eat or touch is withholding something vital to the baby's development. Even if I make it through the day without accidentally consuming Red 40 or one of the many, many, many things that can be potentially harmful to a baby's development, I am always certain that I did not consume enough Omega 3 to help the brain develop to its fullest potential, and if the baby's brain doesn't develop properly, it's simply because I just didn't try hard enough. But I shouldn't stress out about it, because that's not good for the baby either.

Honestly, I'm not that stressed about it. I'm doing the best that I can right now, and I know that most babies are born perfectly healthy, but it's hard not to let these thoughts become all-consuming sometimes. I just keep thinking, though, that I have to find a way to deal with that type of "always something more I can be doing" guilt early on in the pregnancy, before the baby is born because I can only imagine how many more things I "should" do once the baby is born.

On a happier note, the baby should be about 1.5 inches now! It's external ears are developing, it's fingers are becoming more defined, it's heart has been beating for quite some time, it's able to move of it's own free will, and it is starting to look distinctly human! And it is still making me tired, so I'm going to bed.

"The only problem I have with Birkenstock socks is that they're not called Birkensocks"

2006-11-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Things are really getting exciting at work. I'm working with such a fantastic group of people who I get along with really well. We've also started "Bake-off Thursdays" and "Beatbox Fridays" to help pass the time on slow Thursdays and quiet Friday evenings. It's a lot of fun. I also just realized that one of my coworkers reminds me of Khashi, which makes me like him even more than I already did. Another coworker reminds me of who my brother Matt could be in 25 years. He's awesome and he cracks me up. He's the one who said the quote from above. I laugh out loud whenever I think of Birkensocks. Genious.

Test Results

2006-10-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

After testing my ability to detach myself from missing out on the cousin's retreat, I am happy to report that, although it is still hard to look at the amazing pictures of what I missed, I had a wonderful, fun-filled, friend-filled weekend.

On Friday, Nathan and I had lots of fun test driving the Yaris, after which we got some great food from Dos Reales and watched Daily Show stuff. On Saturday, I slept in until 11 (unheard of these days), watched the Disclosure Project report online (while still in bed in my pajamas), went to Strawberry Fields to do homework, cleaned the apartment, worked on a scrapbook, had the Baker cousins over for games and halloween decorating, AND got an extra hour of sleep. Much fun and way overdo (the Bakers, but I suppose also the extra hour). On Sunday, I met up with my Urban Planning class and took a trip down to Fayetteville, IL to facilitate a community building brainstorming meeting. The meeting went well, my 5-minute presentation went well, everything was well-received and everyone was very encouraging and supportive of us. I also got to see an amazing, overrun, hidden Civil War Cemetery that blew me away. And I made friends with my classmates. I really enjoyed getting to know them outside of class talk, and we talked about everything from family backgrounds to travel experiences to religion to the environment to politics and many other social issues. We talked all day and it felt like we all could have kept talking a lot longer if we hadn't finally gotten back to Urbana. And I fully participated in and initiated conversations, rather than hiding within myself and only listening. It felt good.

All in all, I took some initiative and a very exciting and fulfilling weekend. Thank you, Bakers, for making the time to come over. It was nice to have friends over again.

Life Lessons

2006-10-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

My mom's got skill. Even now that most of her kids are all grown up, she still never misses an opportunity teach us virtues and little life lessons. It makes Anya and I laugh, because we get so many of them, but we love them. And this weekend, I have the opportunity to make my mom proud and practice applying one of her life lessons.

My siblings and cousins have been planning a cousin's retreat for this weekend up in Wisconsin. My Aunt and Uncle have an amazing house in the woods, and since our extended family doesn't get together anymore for holidays, the cousins decided to take it upon ourselves to do something about it. So a cousin's retreat was organized and is being implemented this weekend. Now, here's the hitch and my opportunity to apply a life lesson on detachment: Nathan and I can't go.

When I was younger, one of the things I hated most was to feel left out. I always wanted to be a part of everything, and would get sad and depressed if something fun was happening that I didn't get to do. ("when I was younger"? who am I kidding?) I'm sure everyone feels this, but it got to a point where I was always thinking about what I was missing out on, rather than thinking about what I was doing and participating in. My mom always encouraged me to practice detachment and to make where I was fun, rather than focusing on where I wasn't. So that's what I'm going to do.

Don't get me wrong, Urbana's a happening place. Full of fun stuff to do. I just didn't plan anything for the weekend because I thought I would be out of town. But I'm not. Actually, it's the first time in quite a while that I've been in town on a weekend. So after my initial (very intense) disappointment, I've decided to enjoy where I'm at, rather than spending my weekend depressed, think about where I'm not.

And to start things off, Nathan and I are going to test drive a Yaris this afternoon! We're thinking about getting one in January. I also think it's high time we had some Bakers over.

Help, Please

2006-10-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going back to meet with the neighborhood association again on Thursday about starting a Jr. Youth group in their neighborhood. I'm really nervous, a little discouraged due to recent events, not too optimistic, feeling a bit out of place and inadequate to meet the needs of the kids in the neighborhood, and leaning towards crying. If you are inclined to saying prayers, please do.

Happenings

2006-09-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

1) I am oh-so-sleepy

2) Mom, Dad, and Matt came to visit this morning, and again this evening.

3) I've been published.

4) I have a midterm on Monday.

5) With 5 dentist appointments in the past 6 weeks, and another 2 to go in the next two weeks, I am well on my way to a new and improved mouth. And I'm working on not being embarrassed about that.

6) Katie and Ben are visiting next weekend. Martha, Liza, and Brent, feel like a C-U reunion?

7) If this Jr. Youth group is going to happen, I have to reach out and meet people. And that scares me. A lot.

Ten Weeks to Freedom

2006-09-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

That's right. Only ten more weeks of my undergraduate career.

Not that I'm counting or anything.

Balance, Action, and Self-Discipline: A Reflection on the Summer

2006-09-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

As I was walking home today, I realized that I've been feeling incredibly satisfied and content lately. Just a few weeks ago I was feeling incredibly unsatisfied and restless, and wondering what I could adjust to fix that, and apparently something worked. I feel like my life is much better balanced right now, for a variety of reasons.

First, I chose my classes carefully this semester. I knew that I was tired of schoolwork, so I was realistic about my workload. With the exception of one class that I had to take to fulfill a requirement, all of my other classes deal with direct application of concepts in real-life situations, not mock situations. We're working with real communities to help them acheive their goals for growth and development. It's hard work, and scary because I'm being pushed to do so many things that I hate and dread (i.e. giving formal presentations...I've given two already), but it's also satisfying to push myself into action and strive to detatch myself from the results.

I think this action component is a major factor in my feelings of satisfaction and contenment. This summer I really observed the necessity of action, and the powerful, amazing effects it has. I'm really good at thinking and talking about things (not in a presentation format, but I'm working on it), but I've never been great with the whole action component. But after this summer, I've really been pushing myself to act, and it feels good. Again, it's a lot harder and scarier than thinking about acting or talking about acting, but also much more fulfilling.

I also learned this summer that a necessary component to action (for me, anyway) is self-discipline. The discipline of self (myself). I realized this summer just how much I've been letting my lower nature run amuck, and it's time to whip it into shape. Really, if I don't have any sort of self-discipline, than how can I expect to sustain my actions, or even start to act in the first place? Taking action is hard, and it require self-discipline to start and sustain it. It also takes self-discipline and detachtment to work on a long-term project when you want results immediately.

So, I've been applying these lessons learned, and here are the current results:

1) Improved dental care. I was forced to suck up my less-than-friendly feelings towards dentists when I got a tooth infection on the drive back from Seattle. I was rewarded with three amazing dentists who were full of explanations and free from shame-inducing tactics (unlike my previous experiences). I now have a deep appreciation for the field of dentistry, and healthier mental and physical relationships with my teeth. In other words, I no longer feel that cavities are a direct reflection of my character, and I floss much more regularly.

2) Improved health consciousness. I'm working on improving my diet, and am already consciously eating more fruits and vegetables and less other stuff. I have also started running again. I infinately prefer swimming to running, but the pool hours are not as flexible and easily accessible, and even if they were, it's a lot harder to go swimming in the middle of the day and carry around a wet swimsuit all day (I said I'm working on self-discipline, sometimes I still choose the easier route). So, running it is. But it's been almost two years since I ran regularly, and I have a long way to go to build up my indurance to where I'd like it. Today I ran a mile and walked another half mile. But, rather than being discouraged (ok, maybe I was a little discouraged), I was also excited to set a physical challenge for myself and to have a concrete goal to work towards.

3) Jr. Youth activities. This is the big one. Not just because it's the one I'm most excited about, but also because it is proving to be the most challenging. I'm not really scared to floss regularly or eat better and run, but I am scared of rejection and being accused of alternative motives, and I've already had to face both of those fears. I wasn't rejected by everyone. The vast majority of people I was talking to were extremely supportive and very excited. Really, there was only one voice of opposition, but it was enough. I don't know how I would have handled more. But rather than being discouraged to the point of inaction by one voice of opposition, I have been able to look for and work with other avenues. But even that has its challenges. The person who is most enthusiastic about it and really wants it to happen also has his own vision of what it will be and the vision is so large and complex that it is weighing down and impeding the action that is needed to get to there. Although I would love to see his fully-integrated, multi-generational program take off and be successful, I strongly believe that we have to be realistic with the resources available to us and start small and simple, then continue to adjust and build off of what we have. We can't expect to start with the end product. So how do I convey that to him without stomping on his enthusiasm and vision? Right now, he is our greatest supporter in the community, but this method of action is not effective. But I'm not giving up, I'm just struggling to search for alternative solutions.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. I'm working on action and self-discipline, and the result has been a satisfying and fulfilling feeling of balance in my life. We'll see where that takes me.

Homeward Bound

2006-08-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

I'm at the Allmarts, it's about 1:00 a.m., and Nathan and I are heading home tomorrow. It's been a while. I haven't seen our home since May. Instead, I've seen: Wichita, Seattle, Batavia, Evanston, Beloit, Ft. Wayne, Glen View, South Bend, Seattle (again), Portland, all of the states between Illinois and Washington, and many repetitions of Batavia and Evanston in between. Tomorrow I'll see Urbana again. I haven't really thought about going home until tonight, my pattern this summer has been to just look at the next stop on the itinerary. But it feels good to be going home. Not just to have a bed, a closet (as opposed to a suitcase), a routine, etc., but also to have an opportunity for action. I am craving to see the growth that is happening in Urbana and to be a part of it. I love growth. I want to act and learn and see the roots of long-term growth, change, and learning take hold in a community that I love dearly.

Headin' Out Once Again

2006-06-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for Ruhi in the Woods tomorrow. I don't really know what to expect, but it should be good. Full of learning.

Food! Glorious Food!

2006-05-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

Nathan is living in the university district in Seattle for the summer, and although is housing leaves much to be desired, the neighborhood does not. We are well within walking distance to the main shopping/food area, which is amazing. There are all sorts of independent shops, mostly clothing and shoes, a few used book stores, and quite a few cd/music stores. There are at least three movie theaters in the area, two of which show independent/art films mostly. And then there's the food. Oh, the food. I think there are about as many Thai restaurants here as there are coffee shops, which is saying something for Seattle. Everywhere you look, there's Thai. And Bubble Tea! Seriously, there are at least five Bubble Tea places within three blocks. That's not even counting the restaurants that serve Bubble Tea in addition to other things. That's five stores in three blocks that only serve Bubble Tea. Glorious. We also found a block that has three Pho restaurants on it (Pho = traditional Vietanmese soup), one of which also serves Bubble Tea, so Nathan is in Pho heaven. AND, there's a Chai lounge that I'm dying to visit. I think I'll take a book and spend a few hours there on Tuesday when Nathan goes back to work. So far, Nathan and I have eaten at a Mediterranean restaraunt that reminded me of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", a Pho restaraunt that reminded Nathan of his favorite restaraunt in Wichita, and an amazing Thai restaraunt that makes the best peanut sauce I've ever had. Oh man, I could get used to this.

Overheard

2006-05-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know, Nathan is prone to talking in his sleep at all hours of the night. For the past several months, it has been nothing but airplane talk. But last night, we had a breakthrough. At around 4:30 this morning, Nathan could be heard saying:

"Yeah, I really like the Muppets. Especially that...uh...Ralph. No, that's not it. Gonzo. Yeah, Gonzo. I just like what he does, man."

I almost stopped him when I woke up to him talking (out of habit), but I'm glad I let him go. Finally, something worth being woken up for.

We're off! Officially

2006-05-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

After a much-needed, too-short visit in Wichita, Nathan and I are finally starting our road trip to Seattle. Seem to be a bit of a late start? That's what we thought until we did a bit of research and learned that it'll only take us about 3.5 days to get there. So we stayed a few extra days in Wichita and are heading out now. I'm really excited because I've never been to the Northwest, and we're driving through a lot of States that I've never seen. It should be beautiful and a lot of fun! Well, once we get through western Kansas. It's supposed to be a pretty boring, hot drive today, but tomorrow morning we'll wake up in Denver and it'll be mountains from there on out! We've got Eddie Izzard to help us through today, so that'll help. This is our first real road trip together (I don't count the 9hr drives to and from Wichita as road trips), and I'm looking forward to it. We're taking pictures. I would say that we'd post them, but I've made too many empty promises about posting pictures for you to believe me anymore. I'll just leave it as a pleasant surprise if I ever get around to it. Which I probably won't. But maybe Nathan will. Sometime.

And We Come Full Circle

2006-04-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

The end of the semester is drawing nigh, and I can't help noticing some striking similarities to the beginning of the semester. I'm stilling feeling pretty tired, I'm still waiting for that warm-weather vacation, and I'm still uncertain about my choice of classes, though for different reasons now. And I'm ending the semester the same way I started it: by travelling. I travelled every weekend for the first month of school, and I'll be travelling every weekend for the last three weeks. That's by no means a bad thing. I love to travel, and I'll be meeting lots of new people, and it'll make the weeks go by quickly. I just hope I can handle the work load.

But appearances aren't everything. Just because the end of the semester looks the same as the beginning, doesn't mean that nothing has changed. Quite the contrary. In the past several months, I have: learned to appreciate the value of economics as a field of study, and understand that it does have a place in promoting healthy communities (I can appreciate it and still not love it...there's just no place in my heart for it...none.); improved my ability to help organize meetings and discussions; strengthened my ability to explain ideas to others; attempted to read Harry Potter as a literary critic; learned a tremendous amount about theories of ethics as they pertain to development, and theories of community development as well; come to love Amartya Sen; deepen my love and appreciation for Mos Def; been in awe of the earth's amazing ability to regenerate and survive despite the crap we put it through; recognized my inability to admit when I'm wrong (still working on that one); felt very isolated and, consequently, started to have a deeper understanding of the unbelievably huge importance of strong, healthy, stable and supportive communities; missed my family (Mitchells and Bishops) and friends; worked too much; made some tough decisions; seen my husband struggle and felt helpless to do anything; begun saying prayers with my husband on a regular basis; seen my niece grow and do amazing things; skipped a few more econ lectures than was probably good for me; re-awakened a bit of dormant creativity as I helped write, direct, and edit my first movie (still working on that one); and other things. I'm late for work.

Thinking

2006-04-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. It's been a hard semester and I worry that I've forgotten how to be friends with anyone. It's been so long since I've been able to spend any meaningful time with anyone. All of my conversations with everyone revolve around "catching up" and there's never time to talk further. I don't think I'd really know what to say, anyway. When did I stop being able to make friends and strengthen friendships? I miss people.

A Little Taste of Cape Town

2006-04-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

Recommendation/Product Pushing

2006-03-28T18:04:00.000-08:00

I, hereby, announce my full satisfaction in, and endorsement of, "Wolfgang Puck's" canned soups. Especially the tomato Basil. Mmmm.

Friends

2006-03-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

This past Ayyam-i-Ha, Nathan and I have been blessed with surprise visits and wonderful, heart-warming displays of friendship. This past Thursday (alright, I admit that it was a bit before Ayyam-i-Ha started...give me a break!), our dear friend and my former roommate, Mrs. Hammer, came all the way from Phoenix and surprised us with a visit. It was absolutely wonderful to spend time with her again and catch up a bit, as I anyone will tell you I am absolutely horrible at keeping in touch long-distance. Not because I don't want to, it's just not a particular strength of mine. Anyway, her visit was the perfect way to kick off our weekend o' celebration. On Friday, Nathan and I made the long (ummm...yeah) trip up to Batavia to see family. The Falconers arrived early on Saturday morning so we got to maximize our game time. The Allmarts left South Carolina early too and arrived late Saturday night, so for a few minutes the entire family was together to celebrate. Then, on Sunday morning (back in Urbana) our friend Eric, who recently moved to the Chicago-land area poked his head into the children's classroom and took Nathan and I out to lunch (he has a real job now). Then we went to the Baha'i Association's party where I got to spend some much-needed time with my beloved Martha, who always brings me such joy. It was a wonderful weekend, and Bahia and the local Baker families made the transition into the school week much easier than it otherwise would have been. Bahia and Devyn embodied the Ayyam-i-Ha spirit of generousity and gave us some extremely thoughful gifts, and tonight the Bakers were so thoughtful and offered to help us get ready for some more visitors this weekend. Bahiyyih is always looking for ways to help us, which always makes us feel so loved. Thank you. It was a truly joyous time; one of the best Ayyam-i-Ha's I can remember, and a wonderful way to start the Fast.

That's Right, Penguins In South Africa

2006-02-01T15:59:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining

2006-02-01T08:26:00.000-08:00

Things are looking up since my last post. I'm still trying to get into a routine, but at least I am no longer feeling quite so overwhelmed with everything. I am trying to take inspiration from Martha's latest post and be proactive and resolved in organizing my life and utilizing my time so I am no longer struggling every day to keep up with mounting work, but am instead doing everything thoroughly and efficiently. I think if I can have an organized routine, I will have more energy to put into learning, rather than wasting all of my energy on trying to find time to do everything (and on getting the motivation to do anything). With everything going on this semester, and all the travelling I'll be doing, I don't think I'll be able to make it through the semester with my sanity in tact if I don't get myself organized once and for all. It also just feels so much better and so much less cluttered to be mentally organized. I don't want to just survive another semester. I want to be proactive in learning and growing as much as I can both from classes and all of my experiences. I want to be systematic about it, not just haphazard, as past semesters have been. I also want to do a much better job at keeping in touch with friends and family who aren't nearby. I have been really horrible about that for quite some time, and there's no excuse for it. And I'm trying to learn to say "no" and accept the fact that people may be disappointed initially, but its better for everyone in the long run if I just admit to myself and others that I can't do everything that is asked of me. And I'm trying to be detached from not being able to do everything that I want to do, and learning my limits. And I'm trying to get to class on time. Bye.

Just Trying to Figure Things Out

2006-01-24T15:28:00.000-08:00

I'm typically a fan of the gray skies, but I've been in a slump for a little while and I think the mid-winter weather is partly to blame. I've felt overwhelmed and unenthused by the amount of work that was waiting for me since I got back from Cape Town, and I'm having trouble getting into a routine. There's nothing particularly bad about the semester. In fact, there are several classes that I would be very excited about if I could gather the energy to get excited about anything. But the gray clouds outside seem to be filling my mind and I can't pay attention to any one thing long enough to get excited. I think I really needed a break before starting classes again, but that didn't happen so I just have to figure out how to work with what I've got. Hopefully the clouds will pass and I will be able to concentrate again.

Yesterday, I Made Grandpa Mitchell Proud

2006-01-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe it wasn't exactly yesterday, but it sounds cool that way and I can't remember which day it was. But whatever the date, I went swimming in the eastern part of the Atlantic Ocean. Why would that make grandpa, the leader of the Mitchell branch of The Polar Bear Club, proud? Because it was freakin' freezing! I could only stay under a second before my lungs hurt. Wading in the water for ten minutes did not result in "getting used to the water", it resulted in intense, pin-pricking pain! But I went all the way under (only a few people followed me). I also swam in the gorgeous, much warmer Indian Ocean for the first time yesterday. It really was yesterday, on Nathan's and my first wedding anniversary. A good day for firsts. Other than beaches, I've been learning the public transportation systems, accidentally bargaining all over the place, spending many Rands at markets, eating ostrich and springbok (a type of antelope?), going to lectures, and hiking up part of the mountain that is in the middle of Cape Town... we're doing the whole hike later in the trip. We also got a private tour of the last place where Nelson Mandela was imprisoned. It isn't open to the public, so I don't know how we managed that one, but it was cool. We're going to Robben Island, the prison where he was kept the longest, next weekend. All in all, it's been great so far. Everyone in the group gets along really well and we haven't had any problems so far, which I am so greatful for! It's made the whole experience so much better! I'm off to eat at a local Thai restaurant where you can eat amazing Thai food for under $5 american dollars, which is even cheap here.

Man Oh Man

2005-12-23T19:24:00.000-08:00

I leave in 52.5 hours. I'm mostly packed...still haven't found that darn camera. I'm nervous that I'm packing too much. I'm not typically a two-bag kinda gal, but my condensing skills are only so good. I'm not Mary Poppins, for heaven's sake! My paper is mostly done. I just have to insert sources and write the bibliography. Got some money, but I've never dealt with currency exchange before and that makes me kinda nervous. I'm starting to feel a bit more prepared, which makes the trip more tangible and allows me to get excited! Got to go finish the paper and start on the MOUNTAIN of dishes so Khalil has something to eat with when house-sits for us.

Anya and I Went to the Movies

2005-12-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

1 hour before the movie:
*Katie: Nathan, Anya and I are going to the 8:15 Narnia showing at Savoy
*Nathan: So I should pick you up around 10:20?
*Katie: Yeah, ok. At Savoy.

the second the movie ended:
*Katie: hurry! Nathan's waiting for us outside!

15 minutes after the movie:
*Anya: Katie, your mom is always late.

25 minutes after the movie:
*Katie: hi, Nathan? this is Katie, I'm just calling to make sure you didn't fall asleep. Anya and I are at Savoy, so give us a call before you leave to pick us up so we stop worrying.

45 minutes after the movie:
*Nathan: I was waiting at the wrong theater
*Katie: I told you we were at the Savoy theater
*Nathan: I thought I WAS at the Savoy theater

D-U-N, done!

2005-12-11T23:26:00.000-08:00

It's official, the semester is over. Six down, two to go. Now I just have to read 3,000 pages and write a paper on it for my trip to South Africa in two weeks. That's not a complaint, though...just a thought. For tomorrow. Our friend, Khalil, decided to stop school and take some time for himself to figure out what he wants and find what would be a good fit for him. It takes guts to stand up for yourself and go against the oh-so-strong pull of society's expectations. I admire that. And am slightly envious, but in a happy-for-Khalil way.

Well, it's off to bed for this suck-it-up-and-go-with-the-flow-even-if-it-drowns-you kinda gal. I've got work in a few hours, but I'm being rewarded with a much-anticipated visit from Anya! Two sisters and a brother-in-law visiting within two days of each other? My family knows how to reward me for a semester-well-finished (let's hope it was, anyway)!

Yes, Yes, I'm alive

2005-12-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

and kickin. Well, alive anyway. The semester has taken its toll, but it will all be over soon and I will be one semester closer to graduating. Other than the pain of papers, assignments, and pottery, I have been: Visiting the Bishops for a wonderful Thanksgiving break, watching Six Feet Under during much-needed study breaks, kicking the shoe-buying habit (or trying to, anyway), vaguely getting ready for South Africa, and visiting San Diego, CA to escape the -2 degrees and get trained in working with jr. youth in 60+ degree whether instead. The training in San Diego was wonderful, insightful, and much-needed. I'm excited to start jr. youth groups in the area and train others to start their own as well. I felt completely in-sync with the materials we were learning, as well as the people with whom I was learning the materials. I came back feeling rejuvinated, and tried not to let the icy blast of winter and finals dampen my spirits. Now, I just have one more assignment that I have to finish before I'm done for the semester. I tried to finish it tonight, but I hit some bumps in the road and have to wait for a response from my professor before I can continue. All's well, though. It's not due until next Friday so if I can't do it now, I may as well at least get a jump-start on my winter break relaxing. Or at least start reading those assignments that are due for South Africa. What do you think?

You know it's going to be a weird day when you're walking to class, wondering where that whistling noise is coming from, and realize it's your nose!

2005-11-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

But then you remember that HARRY POTTER (!!!!) and the Goblet of Fire is out in theaters and you are going to see it TONIGHT with your husband and some dear, wonderful friends. And suddenly, the involuntary nose-whistling just doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

Watch Yo'Self!

2005-11-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

Oh, man. Today the thing that has threatened to happen several times every semester finally happened: I got plowed over by a bike on campus. There have been many close calls, but today it finally happened. I was walking out of my Urban Planning class, thinking about the vaccinations I'll need for South Africa, and not paying attention to the bike path that I was walking across (across, not on... I'm not one of THOSE people). I was almost across before I even noticed that I was crossing the bike path and that there was a bike 2 feet away ZOOMING towards me! If I had not stopped to think, as I did but should not have done, and had just taken that last quick step, I would not have a bruise/cut on my hip, a sore cheek, and an inability to sit without pain. Alas, I did stop to think, and chose to go backwards right when the ZOOMING bike chose to try to go behind me. The next thing I knew, I heard myself calmly saying "oh sh*t" as something hit my hip, my cheek hit the handle bar (I think) and my rear hit the concrete. The biker stayed upright on his bike. It was totally my fault, but thankfully the guy was really nice about it and wasn't mad that I had walked in front of him across the bike path, and instead helped me up, apologized, explained how he had skillfully tried to avoid the collision (while I not-so-skillfully foiled that plan), and sped on his way. I, meanwhile, limped off towards class and contemplated going home and lying on my stomach the rest of the afternoon.

Reed Came to Visit

2005-10-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

My shoes are cooler than I am

2005-10-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

It's true. I bought my second pair of shoes today from the shoe store where I get a 45% discount. They are Clark Privos, and they are cooler than me. I'm ok with that. I like them too much to be jealous of/embarrassed by the fact that they outshine me in every way. I just want to be near their greatness.

Yes!

2005-10-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am going to Cape Town, South Africa this winter break for a 2.5 week study abroad course!

A Nightmare-Come-True

2005-09-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

Pretty consistantly for the past four years, before the start of each new semester I always have nightmares about forgetting to do the work for a class until halfway through the semester (or later). Today, it became a reality. Fortunately, the class in question is just my swimming class and I haven't been forgetting to attend, which is like 45% of my grade or something.

See, I added the class late because I had dropped an insane class with a crazy professor and needed one more hour of credit. So I missed the introduction to the class, the syllabus, requirement info, and all that fun stuff. But when I joined the class, the professor didn't say a word about any of that stuff so I just jumped right into the class (seriously, I just jumped into the pool) and didn't think twice about it. But then suspicious things started happening. Other students started leading mini-lessons, there were whispers of a "test" floating around, and everyone in the class is a kines. major. Surely a required class for kines. majors would have to have a bit more umph than just swimming laps two mornings a week? I mean, really? But I lived in denial of the possibility and got up at 7am every Monday and Wednesday to swim to my little heart's content. But this morning, I asked for a syllabus. I don't know what got into me, maybe I was still a little groggy and not in full use of my mental faculties. It just happened without even thinking about it. Suddenly I was being signed up for a mini-lesson to teach, and I was handed a blue, two-page front and back syllabus that looked suspiciously long for a class whose only requirement was to show up and swim. Lo and behold, there is not only a swim test partway through the semester, there is also a WRITTEN test at the end of the semester! What could a swim class have a WRITTEN test about, you ask? Apparently on the DAILY READING ASSIGNMENTS that I knew nothing about!!!

Fortunately, I've only missed 19 reading assignments that are about 2-10 pages each, so catch-up shouldn't be too hard. And all of the books are on reserve at the library, so I can go there every morning after class to do the readings. That way I won't have to spend any more moneys on books. Well, it's time for my favorite class in the universe. That might be stretching it. But not by much.